How Important is Your Virginity?

Posted on: May 22, 2007

It is a very simple question: How important is your virginity? Women may not like this kind of question because every time virginity is discussed, women’s virginity will automatically be the issue. “What about men’s virginity?” they might say. I think they have a point, it is unfair to see that men have the privilege on this issue that wherever we go women will always be the “victims” in most cultures throughout the world. But, I guess that is what makes women so special. Or, does it?

Virginity means the condition of being a virgin. Oxford dictionary describes virgin as a person (esp. a woman) who has never had sexual intercourse. You see, the authors of Oxford Dictionary were aware of this cultural issue that they put (esp. a woman) in describing what a virgin means. It is the virginity of a woman that is considered to be so important that almost in every culture a good woman is supposed to be a virgin. All three major religions in this world Judaism, Christianity, and Islam have the same opinion on this issue. In Christianity for example, The Virgin Mary has always been the symbol of holiness where in contrary Mary Magdalene was for such a long time considered to be the sinful one, a whore: a status that she had to bear for centuries.

In the West the issue of virginity may not be as important as it is in the East. Due to modernization and all the changes that the culture has been making more people in the West see virginity as an old-bed-time story. Sex is just considered to be a physical need that all people need to fulfill, just like when they are thirsty they have to drink some water. This condition is heavily caused by the so-called liberal values that have been rapidly shaping the Western culture over the last few decades. The Liberal movements see that it is so unfair that men can have sex whenever they want without have to worry about their virginity status. “If they can f*ck, so can we,” the feminists might have said. Yes, is true that there are millions of people in the West especially in United States of America who claim themselves as conservatives but those people are unfortunately not exposed that much by the news medias and the movie industry. It is so easy to find the proof, just try to mention a Hollywood movie which it shows a sexual relationship of a husband and a wife. I’m sure you will find a hard time trying to remember a movie like that. And I’m not even sure if the conservatives in the West, especially in America, still have the same perception on sex and virginity as they had in twenty or forty years ago.

A recent survey in Brazil, a country with more than 170 million Christians, found that 96 percent of young people supported the use of condoms to prevent the spread of AIDS and other sexual diseases. At the same time the survey also found that that 79 percent of the young people who were surveyed did not support Vatican’s concept of sex before marriage and only 20 percent supported it. This survey of course received a big dissapointment from Vatican since Brazil has long been known as a Catholic country where one of the biggest statues of Jesus in the world is located. But I am not pointing my finger at Christianity because even in muslim countries like Indonesia sex and virginity are no longer considered to be that important anymore as they were to be. In Jakarta for example, finding a prostitute is a lot easier than finding an original DVD movie. Yeah, I know you may not like this argument but face it: It’s the truth.

Do you agree with the Western concept for sex that it is a physical need that every adult has to fulfill and that it has nothing to do with inner beauty? Most Indonesian women, even men, who do sex before marriage I’m sure don’t really confess what they do due to cultural pressures, and there are people who are tempted to do that “evil” thing but they are just too afraid because they don’t want to be the sinful ones. But, what if there were a medical surgery that could fix someone’s not-virgin-genital organ, something that could be possible someday, would you do sex before marriage?

How important is virginity for you? Would you ask your future bride, “Honey I love you. But I have to ask you this just to make sure, are you a virgin?”

Picture was taken from here.


94 Responses to "How Important is Your Virginity?"

Funny how different culture (should I say, and religion?) emphasises on ‘things’. It can be a physical state (such as virginity, race, etc), social state (whether you’re blue blooded), and etc

Of course, the next question then: “So what should we put emphasis on?” As we humans like ‘things’ that we can measure (as a benchmark of success???).

Though I personally think, ‘virginity’ is not a good benchmark to be used, to assess your husband-wife relationship. There are just simply too numerous other be

Hmmm… it’s getting philosophical, I’d better stop here πŸ˜‰

Ooops, last second paragraph meant to read:

… There are just simply too numerous other better ‘benchmarks’ out there

Good question… sex is something that God created for humans to enjoy and its supposed to be beautiful inside of marriage….but, I agree it has been corrupted by humans.. Now everyone sins, everyone has a past… I don’t think that being a virgin makes a women better than a non virgin. To me it just means one had a weak moment and the other was able to fight it… but love is not supposed to keep a record of wrong ….. So if I found my soulmate and he is not a virgin I wouldn’t turn him away

“Virginity” nowadays is very very funny things…
I know that nowadays eastern people culture are contiminated with western people culture if i’m not false.
I can say like this because, so many people always learn what they think which is nice to do it.
In Indonesia, there are so many kids, not only girl, they try to do sex with her friends or man. So crazy huh…
I just keep in my mind, try to be a virgin until get marry, because man in Indonesia still demand that his couple is virgin, isn’t it?
But some of them (he) can accept his couple which lost her virginity.

hai.. i’m from jakarta, indonesia
gw mau comment soal “virginity”
buat gw virgin itu penting..
ya! gw tau jaman uda berubah and uda pasti orang jg harus berpikir modern and independent..
gw jg tau smua orang punya masa lalu baik pahit atau nggak..
virgin itu sama aja kehormatan buat cewek.. oke fine kalo lo making sex with ur boyfriend.. beda kalo lo fucking sex..
why? buat gw itu sama aja lo nggak hargain diri lo sendiri! ( khusus buat cewek)..

@Rusi, ya semua itu tergantung dari orangnya si πŸ˜€
klo mereka bisa have fun dengan itu ya why not…
ya semua tergantung dari cara hidup de..
Buat yang masi Virgin, Nyokkkk kita pertahanin ampe kita merit πŸ˜€

Nice thought…Monyet

will my wife be virgin or not?? hmmmmm

nice posting πŸ™‚
virginity is something important for a woman.. but.. there’s so many things could happen to a woman who lost her virginity.. 😦

anyway, virginity still something important, but.. now it is not the time to think about virginity for the marriage life. because marriage is not all about the virginity, but it’s all about how you make your marriage stand still until the end of time.

which should a woman pick?
1. a man who loves you only because u’re a virgin
2. a man who loves you just the way you are.. loves you because you are you..

i’ll choose number 2 πŸ˜€

Rusdy: Yes, I agree. Just like everyone’s been saying let’s not make virginity as the only thing that matters.

Yheudy: I agree with you that a woman who has done sex is not automatically worse than a woman who hasn’t done it. Everyone has his or her past.

Rusi: Emang apa bedanya tuch having sex with a boyfriend ama f*ck*ng sex? hehe.

Cien2: Yes you’re right, today young people’s sexual behaviour is so much influenced by medias. It’s the movies and everything that teach them that having sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend is ok. Even our own Indonesian movies now tell that kissing is so normal. What do you think?

Leo&Co-that: Nice to see you guys. So, would you prefer a virgin one or not Co-that? πŸ™‚

Rara: Yes, a happy marriage does not have anything to do with virginity, it is important but it is not everything. Well, I’m not saying that we should have sex with everyone, but let’s just focus on the essences.

hai salam kenal ya
makasih udah mampir πŸ™‚

manurut saya,
dipertahankan sampai menikah..

boleh khannn?!

virgin,.. penting bgd tp mnrt sebagian cewe yg merasa perlu tuk ngelakuin seks dgn cowo’na gx perlu pertahanin virgin’na,..
Sayang yh?!? Pdhl kesuksesan dlm pacar’an di liat dr kemampuan pasangan itu tuk gx ngelakuin seks itu sendiri.
Gw sendiri perlu tu ngejaga tu ampe lo merasa moment yg pas lo lepas (malam pertama m suami lo).. Gw cuma bisa kasi saran buat cewe yg masi V.. Lo menang klo masi tetep jaga virgin lo..

hmmm … mungkin sebelum tanya pasangan, kudu’ nanya diri sendiri dulu … πŸ™‚

penting nggak? buat saya sih penting … πŸ™‚

‘lam kenal ya …

tanya dulu pada hati yang terdalam……..
penting….untuk pamer?
penting…… untuk riya?
penting….untuk di puji pasangan saat malam pertama?
penting………karena memang jiwa, raga dan hati ikhlas mempertahankannya?

pertanggung jawabannya berat banget ya?
juga untuk sebuah jawaban penting atau tidak di sini……

Once again a balanced and interesting column on this weblog. Even a convinced “liberal” like me will agree with almost all of the contents of it.

Although I am tempted to add some details:

1. The point about Maria Magdalene is that Jesus didn’t mind about her profession but on the contrary loved the good person she was, according to the New Testament ( second part of the Christian Bible).
2. The loss of sanctity of female virginity in the sixties was not due to “liberal values”, but was caused by the sudden availibility of anti-conception pills. From that moment on women could enjoy sex as well as men without running the risk of getting pregnant.
3. Women who want their hymen medically repaired just have to see their the family doctor. At least in my homecountry Muslim women of North African descent who are going to marry a guy from the country of their origin, often have this minor operation to prevent problems.
4. When it comes to media exposure of conservative values in the US of A, I just don’t agree with you. Living in the US you can not have missed Fox News, the manyfold TV-reverents and the like. With the exception of L.A. and New York the US is a ( very) conservative nation.

And, last but not least: I have to confess that if the message of the column was that virginity before marriage adds to the inner beauty of a person, you lost me. I must have misunderstood, because I can not believe that the author of all these columns of clear reasoning, can produce that kind of fuzzy logic.

kaya lagunya Slank.
penting gak penting.. penting gak penting.. asal kumpul..
*hehe… kaborrrr…*

wah, om aLe…
bisa aja πŸ˜€

BTW, penting ya? :-/

Salam kenal…

Apakah V perlu?

Sebenarnya pertanyaannya bukan itu.

Kalaulah sebelum menikah sudah sedemikian gampangnya untuk melakukan hubungan sex dengan orang yang bukan pasangan suami istri, maka kemungkinannya setelah menikah untuk melakukan perselingkuhan juga akan mudah dilakukan.

Hukum alamnya, rumput tetangga ternyata lebih hijau.

Linda: Thanks for visiting

Nieke: Penting? Bener nich? hehe. Bagus2, gitu donk baru keren!

Rya: Bener banget tuch, gue setuju dech. Jadi mau tunggu ampe malam pertama nich? hehe.

Zuki: Salam kenal juga.

Nila: Emang berat banget yach, tanyakan ke pada hati yang terdalam. Beraat.

Colson: Of course I don’t think that virgin women are automatically better than women who are so-called-not virgin, but it doesn’t mean that I support free sex and everything. I agree, the conservative values are indeed exposed in America, but I think not that much. It seems that conservatives don’t have enough influence in major newspapers, magazines, or electronic medias.

Ale: Yang penting ngumpul yach? πŸ™‚

Kaitou: Menurut Anda penting gak? Hehe.

Syamsul: Salam kenal juga. Memang kayaknya jaman makin edan yach, hubungan seks sudah tidak dianggap sakral seperti di masa lalu.

@ Guebukanmonyet: I didn’t/don’t think you believe “virgin women are automalitally better”. Neither do I think non-virgins are automatically better. I rather prefer a mere decent, moderate lifestyle.

But I was wondering whether your reasoning is that sex before marriage is a significant factor at all when it comes to the esteem a person deserves. If so, we differ of opinion.

The point of view that virginity has anything to do with a person’s morality may even lead to immoral behavior. For instance it may lead to treating caucasian women like whores – which is what some of my Muslim compatriots of North African descent do.

I think in any modern society the virgin-issue should be a non-issue.

Interesting. Well, as a person who believes in Eastern and religious values I think virginity (sex before marriage) is a very important thing in life that people especially women should concern about. Of course I also believe that virgin women are not automatically better as we should judge a person from his or her present being not the past.

I can understand why those muslims in your country feel that way. The thing is, Eastern people and Western people see modernity in different ways. Eastern people think that being modern people means that they are able to absorb the economic and technological changes in this fast-changing world, the free-sex part is out of the question.

While many Western people get their moral values from logical thinking, most Eastern people obtain their values from religions, and it is the truth that three major religions in the world (Judaism, Christianity, and Islam) have the same opinion on virginity.

The way Westerners are so amazed to see how religious or Eastern people hate free sex so much is just the same as how Eastern people can’t believe why Western women could so easily do sex before marriage.

@ Guebukanmonyet:

One more try. Because I don’t think the topic merely interesting but rather disturbing as well.

I for instance suspect those who claim the moral highground towards women who practice sex before marriage, may well be the victim of the sin of “Pride”. Pride is a major sin in all three major monotheistic religions, isn’t it?

Secondly, as a matter of fact I for one can NOT understand some of my male North African (Muslim) compatriots. They seem to enjoy the privilege of being able to have sex with of even exploit (“loverboys”) ( usually non-Muslim) girls who have the bad luck to fall in love with them, but at the same time deny sex to their fellow Muslima’s – especially their sisters, nieces and other relatives.

I can’t but conclude this attitude is plain hypocritical and discriminatory as well as insulting to western people. Like the view that virginity is mainly a demand for women is discriminatory.

And way behind the times.

Wow. Two points of view that are very interesting. I agree with you Mr. Colson that it is very discriminatory that virginity should mainly be a demand for women. I also agree that it is hipocritical and ignorant for a men to enjoy free sex with women and yet demand his wife to be a virgin. A real men should be respectful to every women. However, I also agree with Tasa in that sex outside of marriage is a sin. Just because the majority of people are doing in it doesn’t make it okey. BUT most religions demand this from both men and women. So, only a coward will blame someone else for their immoral behavior.

I don’t really understand your opinion that people who believe in religions are the victims of “pride.” But from my point of view, people who don’t believe in God have this feeeling too, I mean, that’s because we are humans.

Of course what those so-called-muslim men do is wrong and so hypocritical. But being born in a muslim family or having an ID that says someone is a muslim doesn’t mean that person is “really” a muslim. Islam is a way of life, it is what a muslim does in every day life that matters the most. Don’t blame the religions for what people do, it’s the people who always manipulate religions for what they want to get.

I agree that women should not the only ones to have this burden of virginity. But Yheudy, I didn’t said that doing sex before marriage was a sin or did I? Nice discussion πŸ™‚

kalo virgin tapi suka mabok2an parah gimana?
sebenernya pertanyaan gw yg ga penting

but IT IS a SIN, thou

@devil’sd little sista:

To my knowlegde no general law exists that forbids premarital sex.

Sin is (merely) a religious notion.

Religion is ( merely) a personal matter.

Everyone who thinks that according to his/her religion one should enter marriage as a virgin, should act accordingly.

But no one should be judgmental on other’s pre-marital sexlife, based on one’s own relation to his/her religion.

Emang ada yang menganggap keperawanan perempuan cuma selembar selaput, tapi tanggung jawabnya sangat besar ya…

Kalo gw memilih untuk tetap menjaganya karena emang aturannya begitu (= dan gw mencintai suami gw walaupun sekarang gw belum mengenalnya. I’ll keep it for him. Hih! Norak bgt komen gw ;D

V is important for me, because itu bisa menjadi satu kebanggaan buat gue (mudah2 an ceweq lain juga) bahwa gue bisa “mengontrol” emosi gue or pacar gue, sekaligus gue bisa lihat sejauh mana pacar gue mau sama gue. Just for Fun or to be Sakinah Family.

Banowati: Komentar yang bagus. Jangan jadikan keperawanan sebagai sebuah simbol fisik saja, keperawanan memiliki arti yang lebih dari itu.

Dini: Setuju. Jangan ikutin maunya lelaki yang kadang hanya mengikuti hawa nafsu. Faktor penentu ada di tangan perempuan, berani untuk bilang tidak! Kalau masih maksa juga itu namanya pemerkosaan bung.

ah bagi gue perawan gak penting, karena gw trauma menikah ama perawan tapi hatinya busuk, gw sekarang lagi pacaran ama jande kembang, tapi dia lebih anggun, setia and mature.

Topik yg menarik ! Buat gw, ok.. ini mungkin kedengarannya klise, tapi beneran from deep inside me : Virginity itu penting, tapi bukan harga mutlak πŸ™‚

Mario: Hehe, benar sich. Keperawanan fisik memang bukan segalanya, ada banyak hal yang lebih penting dibandingkan keperawanan fisik.

Jie: Thanks. Good for you girl πŸ™‚ It is very important but it’s true it’s not everything, but don’t make that as an excuse for not protecting it.

mang perawan tuh kaya gimane c???
definisi perawan kaya apa???
tidak pernah coitus???himen yg masih utuh???
well,,ada kasus yg dy kaga coitus,,himen masih utuh,,tp,,,dia malah hamil…heran kan???tp mang bener….cm petting duank…tp makhluk kecil itu bisa nyelip lhooo…heheheeh….
jd gw cm bilang smua kembali ke diri sendiri,,tanggung jawab ke diri sendiri aje…

Hehe, pertanyaan yang bagus? Emang gimana yah maksudnya perawan?

Tapi yang kita semua setuju adalah bahwa keperawanan memang penting tapi itu bukan segala-galanya dan saya setuju kalau perempuan dari Timur menghormati keperawanan mereka sebagai sebuah aset yang berharga.

kata dosen gw ekhmm,,,dr.Hasrul,, bates antara cinta en napsu cuma sebatas CELANA DALAM…hwhwhwhwhwhwh

LitotomiInSpekulo: Whaha, bener juga tuch si dosen.

Do people Forget All purposes of this man to be ‘Issue’ ,,
why would this so called god see two people that wish to stimulation one another as a sin,, why would enjoying each other be a sin,,
Well Hear this,, It’s NOT

‘God’ & ‘Jesus’ haven’t been Proven to be real,, Also at the same time they haven’t been proven to be real,,

but lets say they are real,

supposedly ‘God’ knows ‘everything ‘ thus he knows that we know,, e.g. what i just said up there,, therefore he should totally understand that if we do not wish to believe that a blood filled fleshy hard entering a wet meaty hole isn’t a sin,,

anyways to answer the Q virginity Doesn’t matter,,
the only and reasons why there is such a fuss (of the female gender) is because if a girl holds out she don’t look like such a slut and also she wants to find a guy that will appreciate her and not her tight hole,, ,, the reason for this is girls are more emotionally driven and see it as a big step in life,, where as guys are more laid back about the whole thing,, and we all know its true,,
thats its in a girls nature to go out of there way to look “attractive” & guys will just put on a shirt etc,,

Does any one know that marry consented to god as it doesn’t say so in the Bible,, as far as i know she just got told and got left to deal with the matter,, lol bet Joseph didn’t believe her haha
Imagen coming home to that,, ugh im pregnant but its not yours ,, its Gods ,, but don’t worry im still a virgin,, LMAO ,,
Imagen what th world would be like if she got it aborted ,, (ill give ya a hint// twin towers would still be here and there would be so many wars)

HAHA you know the its true,,

I think it is totally up to the person himself/herself.
For example, personally for me – virginity of my lifetime soulmate is very important. Why my soulmate should have a previous one before me and why I shouldn’t be the one who takes the virginity and think he/she belongs to me, and there is noone who touched his/her intimate areas. I definitely think it really strengthens your life in marriage.
Maybe I a bit too jealous in this matter, but anyway I think this sort of logic prevents much of the divorces these days.

How Important is Your Virginity?

May be we should answer this question first :
Why God Create Virginity ? With special sign for women, not for man ? Is it Usefull or useless ?

Virginity for Married ? Its all about agreement between those couple… I think.


JK: Well, you might be right my friend. We live in a sex-driven world after all.

Alex: Yeah, no one can’t blame you on that if that’s what makes you happy πŸ™‚

Eka: The virginity of your heart is way much more important.

Ikutan comment nih:

Dulu sebelum menikah dengan perempuan yang menjadi istri sekarang ini.
Cep pernah berpacaran dengan seorang perempuan yang katanya bukan perawan, ( waktu itu ngk ditest perawan atau bukannya, takut dosa), katanya pernah “ditembus” oleh mantan yang dulu. dan kebetulan sebelum pacaran dgn perempuan ini Cep sobatan sama dia ( jadi agak tahu banyak karakternya, termasuk gaya pacarannya dengan yang dulu)

Waktu itu Cep bilang sama MP (mantan Pacar),
“saya tahu kamu bukan perawan, tapi itu tidak penting, karena keperawanan hanya akan dinikmati dimalam pertama saja, yang penting apa yang kamu bisa berikan untuk ku, terhitung setelah selesai akad nikah, biarkan itu masa lalu kamu, kamu harus mengambil hikmah dari pengalaman itu”.

dan pada waktu itu hubungan enjoy2 aja.
tapi maaf ngk berjodoh,dan alasan putusnya bukan karena itu.

Tapi istri yang sekarang, dulunya perawan asli, hanya “ditembus “oleh suaminya (* ya, Cep).

Intinya, Jagalah your virginity as strong as you can.
jadikanlah itu salah satu hadiah istimewa dan yang berkesan untuk suami,
selain itu,
hadiah yang paling indah dan istimewa bagi suami adalah disaat sang istri bisa mengisi kekosongan yang ada didalam diri sang suami,
dan bisa dijadikan anak oleh orang tua suami begitupun suami jadi anak oleh orang tua istri.

Pokok na mah, harus jadi yang terbaik setelah married.
Banyak menantu yang lebih disayang daripada anaknya.

Pacaran lama atau sebentar tidak menjamin dikemudian hari bisa menjadi sesuai dengan keinginan setelah married.
Cep punya saudara pacaran 8 tahun, nikah hanya 2 tahun, cere deh.

Pacaran itu = Buang2 duit
Pacaran itu = ngumpulin dosa
Pacaran itu = ?????

Kalaupun “dilepasin” untuk “dijebol”,
atas dasar apa?
karena suka sama suka,
atau mungkin Ekonomi.

Kalau dilihat dari segi Agama itu jelas dosa,
ya kita kembalikan saja kepada semuanya.

satu lagi Cep punya teman,
Dia lebih suka pacaran dengan janda, 2x dia pacaran dengan janda, dan akhirnya…. menikah dengan janda anak satu,
alasannya ????(mungkin dia punya alasan sendiri) dan sekarang sudah punya anak 1.

Makasih, sorry kalau nulisnya kepanjangan.
Cep Otsmar

Wah, masukan yang bagus Mas. Hehe. Saya sich setuju banget walau mungkin keperawanan bukan hal yang terpenting tapi tetap harus dijaga. Memang pada akhirnya perawan hati jauh lebih berharga dari perawan fisik, mari jangan tertipu dengan bungkus luarnya saja. Kayaknya pengalaman Anda banyak nich, bagi2 donk. Hehe.


hatur nuhun semoga kita sukses semua,

kalau ditanya banyak Pengalaman???
Kalau pengalaman ditolak and diputusin sering.

Hanya mau bercerita saja,TAPI NGGAK NYAMBUNG DENGAN JUDUL.
mau bagi2 pengalaman aja.

Kalau menikah itu niatnya ibadah,
soalnya kalau lahiriah yang jadi tujuan,bisa2 jadi “Bu Merang” ( Merang-bahasa sunda:yang bikin gatal).
Karena Lahiriah (kecantikan,harta,dll) dengan seiring waktu bisa berkurang atau hilang.

Harus siap menerima kenyataan terhitung setelah akad nikah,
kita baru tahu kalau pasangan kita kalau tidur ngorok,ngiler, kalau mandi jorok, dll.
( mungkin klu yang KU-KEB mah udah tahu, udah biasa).

Tapi dikarenakan kita sudah ijab kabul, mungkin dengan kata lain ijab kabulnya begini:
Perempuan: “Aku serahkan diriku kepadamu, bawalah aku kemanapun pergi asal jangan ke Neraka, mohon terima aku apa adanya ”
Laki-Laki:” Aku terima kamu jadi istriku, akan aku bawa kamu kemanapun pergi tapi tidak ke neraka, dan aku akan menerima apapun kamu apa adanya”

dulu pertama menikahpun Cep kaget juga,
kok istriku begini….???, kok begitu…???
tapi mungkin Istriku pun sama,kok suamiku begini….??? kok begitu….???,
tapi seiring waktu akhirnya kami saling memahami, meskipun dalam hal tertentu ngaku kalau agak egois atau selalu pingin diatas.
eeh akhirnya: borojol juga, udah punya anak 2, anak yang gede cantik n yang kecil ganteng.
Pasti itu dari Ortunya, Ngak mungkin kalau dari tetangga, amit2 Na’udzubillah…

Cep merasa beruntung mempunyai istri yang setia, baik,pengertian, dll, Pokok na mah. She is the best.

Meskipun dia perpempuan kedua……………
Setelah ibu ku.
Tapi kadang bertanya juga dalam hati, Apa istriku bahagia punya suami seperti Cep?
Ah… mudah2an dia bahagia.

Waktu menikah, bukannya punya modal, malah minus sekiaan juta, tapi dengan kesabaran bisa lunas dan punya tabungan.

Salah satu hadiah yang istimewa,”Aku bisa nembus gawangnya, and gooooaaaaaallll”.
dan sangat teristimewa, dia bisa mengisi kekosongan jiwaku.

jadi jagalah “gawangmu, biarkan nanti striker yang resmi direkrut yang akan mencetak goal ke gawangmu”

Terima kasih, sorry kalau ngk nyambung tolong sambungi. ya.
Cep Otsmar.

Ya ALLAH, mudah2an dia senantiasa menjadi yang terbaik untukku dan keluargaku.

Ya ALLAH, berilah jodoh yang terbaik untuk mereka yang belum menikah.

Cep Otsmar: Whaha, ceritanya boleh juga tuch. Sukses kayaknya. Setuju banget Bung, kalau mengejar yang sifatnya lahiriah itu gak pernah ada habisnya, namanya manusia pasti gak pernah puas kan. Yang cantik dan seksi pasti akan jadi tua dan berkerut suatu saat, jadi tidak ada gunanya mengagung-agungkan keindahan fisik semata. Kebahagiaan batin jauh lebih bermanfaat dan mengasyikan, betul gak?

Sukses. Doain saya ringan jodoh Mas, hehe.

– gak,…. eh betul sekali itu.

kita saling berdoa, untuk pribadi,keluarga dan umat.

Pokok na mah yang belum punya pasangan,
rajin2 berdoa jangan biarkan nafsu memngendalikan kamu,biar ngk salah dapat durian jatuh, berkhayal dapat durian mateng dan manis eh tahu nya busuk.

*** ada peribahasa konyol yang dulu sering diucapkan sebelum Cep married:
” bukannya do’a yang tidak ampuh tapi jomblo yang kuat”***.
biasanya kalau yang susah dapet pacar, ini mottonya.
Just kidding, jangan masukin hati tapi masukin saku aja.

Doa Cep tulus kok, mumpung lagi bulan puasa, kita saling berbuat baik.

OOT ( out of topic):
Ini forum cukup seru juga,
awalnya lagi browsing, cari2 info tentang islam di mas google,
pas dapet situs yang menarik, ya dibongkar-bongkar, ternyata isinya seru juga,
kalau japri gimana caranya?

Keep Sukses ya.

di doain lagi, cepat dapet istri yang sholehah, bhakti, taat kepada suami, cantik lahir bathinnya and …..poko na mah the best.

Cep Otsmar.

I’m glad you found my blog then. Kalau mau japri silahkan ke e-mail saya Mas di


Ok thank.

Insya Allah nnt Cep hubungi.

Tks n Sukses.

Cep Otsmar

satu prinsip gw tentang virginity

sebagai cwe, klo lo sendiri ga bisa ngejaga dan menghormati diri lo… siapa lg yg bakal menjaga dan menghormati lo?

ya kan?

Cep: You’re welcome.

Macan: Betul sekali bu, hehe. Didukung.

Sebenarnya bagi laki-laki yang moderat dan terlepas dari nilai-nilai agama & masyarakat,virginity perempuan hanya sebagai kebanggaan laki-laki. Tidak bisa mendapatkan V ketika marriage, juga tidak masalah. Karena nikah kemudian berumah tangga, berdasarkan cinta & uang. Maksudnya tidak bisa makan cinta saja, visa versa. Itu untuk hubungan yg ideal dan long lasting untuk ukuran zaman sekarang. Butuh faktor itu.

The point is, buat apa sih meng-agung-agung-kan keprawanan kl pada akhirnya untuk bisa mempertahankan hubungan rmh tangga, butuh lebih banyak faktor penunjang kelangsungan sekadar faktor-V tsb.

Sekali lagi, cuma sebagai kebanggaan laki-laki bisa mendapatkan V. Gak lebih.

Note: Comment saya ini terlepas dari nilai agama. Hanya dilihat dari kacamata saya sebagai non-konservatif individu. Juga bukan brarti saya setuju dengan gejala freeseks yg terjadi di masyarakat hedonis zaman sekarang.

agama yang memerintahkan umatnya untuk menjaga keperawanan baik laki dan perempuan sampai dia menikah. kalo penting gak pentingnya kembali lagi kepada pilihan hidup setiap orang.

keperawanan ternyata gak melulu di -maaf- alat kelamin reproduksi saja….ingat istilah anal sex, oral sex/blow job? kalo ada orang yang pernah melakukannya maka tangan, mulut dan -maaf- duburnya sudah tidak perawan lagi. gitu menurut kata dokter kandungan yang saya baca.

dan mengenai tes keperawanan hanya dokter kandungan lah yang bisa mendiagnosanya. keluarnya darah di malam pengantin pada perempuan tidak bisa dijadikan paramater dia masih perawan sebelumnya. begitu pula keperawanan pada laki2 alias keperjakaan, hanya bisa dites oleh dokter kandungan atau oleh androlog. mungkin kita bisa menilai keperawanan seseorang dari perilaku atau fisiknya, kalo perilaku -kata dokter juga- orang yang sudah tidak perawan tapi belum nikah lebih besar hasrat melakukan hubungan seks dikarenakan tubuhnya yang sudah terbiasa melakukan hubungan seks….kayak orang yang biasa makan nasi jika gak ketemu nasi pasti tetep lapar…nah kira-kira gitu analoginya. yang ngomong dokter loh ya, bukan saya…cuma nyampein sesuatu yang pernah saya baca…:)

Ingin menambahkan komentar, yonna’s quote, “..keperawanan ternyata gak melulu di -maaf- alat kelamin reproduksi saja….ingat istilah anal sex, oral sex/blow job?..”
Bukan suatu jaminan perempuan masih prawan tidak melakukan seperti hal diatas. Even (just) petting pun bisa dikatakan sudah tidak perawan. Istilah perawan diartikan juga sebagai sikap blm pernah melakukan hal ber-orientasi seksual dengan lawan jenis. Jadi tidak melulu tentang robeknya selaput dara karena coitus.

“..keluarnya darah di malam pengantin pada perempuan tidak bisa dijadikan paramater dia masih perawan sebelumnya..”
Keluar darah pada vijaina perempuan disebabkan faktor psikologis perempuan seperti belum/tidak siap, trauma, dsb. Dan faktor fisik seperti kurangnya cairan pelumas (dipengaruhi tingkat rangsangan pada perempuan) yg dikeluarkan perempuan sehingga ketika coitus akan menyebabkan friksi yang sangat besar yang menyebabkan darah keluar dari vijaina.

@Mas Aden
ya betul, perawan bisa diartikan luas dari fisik termasuk psikis seorang gadis/bujang.

ya betul lagi, melengkapi lagi, selaput dara atau hymen setiap perempuan berbeda-beda tingkat elastisitasnya, ada yang lentur sehingga baru robek saat melahirkan anak atau kaku sehingga baru jatuh dari sepeda atau melakukan hubungan pertama kali langsung robek.

hmm perawan bukanlah mahkota yang harus dijaga oleh seorang gadis saja tapi juga oleh seorang bujangan. selama ini image masih perawan pasti mengarah pada perempuannya saja, padahal laki-laki juga harus dituntut menjaga keperjakaannya sampai dia menikah. jadi fair dan seimbang, ya toh!? πŸ™‚

yonna: Sepertinya susah ya kalau laki-laki harus perawan. Dan juga sepertinya pasangan kata yang sangat aneh ya seperti air & minyak: laki-laki & perawan.

Kadang bagi laki-laki dan perempuan, ada pentingnya membuat standar bagi diri mereka masing-masing. Maksudnya, kalo laki-laki ingin mendapat perempuan yg bagus/diinginkan maka laki-laki tsb harus membuat standar yang bagus/diinginkan juga bagi dirinya. Visa versa.
Tidak bisa egois. Dan biasanya, it works, standar-standar-an seperti itu.

@Mas Aden
iya laki-laki susah kalo harus perawan karena dia harusnya perjaka hehehe.

ya betul, kalo mau dapet yang bagus maka dia juga harus bagus.

tapi bagi saya menjaga keperawanan dan keperjakaan gak sekedar untuk fair atau seimbang aja, tapi masalah kesehatan dan keamanan. buat saya, cowok yang udah gak perjaka pasti saya ragukan kesehatan alat kelaminnya karena kalopun dia pake kondom tetep aja skeptis. karena saya gak mau ketularan penyakitnya karena ngaku sehat dengan benar-benar sehat adalah hal yang beda, kalo ngaku sehat sih tinggal ngaku apa susahnya tapi utk nyuruh dia ngebuktiin pasti yang ada malah tersinggung krn dituduh pembohong atau penipu. yah tapi ini pendapat pribadi sih πŸ™‚

Yonna&MasAden: Thanks for the wonderful discussion πŸ™‚ Tampaknya terjadi perdebatan cukup menarik tentang definisi keperawanan. Tapi apapun itu, kita pasti setuju bahwa “keperawanan” hati lebih penting dari pada keperawanan fisik.

buat saya sih…penting. ngapain dikasih ke pacar yang belom terjamin nasib saya-nya. itu kan barang berharga..hee…

pertanyaan: kenapa ya dari jaman dulu, cowok yang player, pernah having sex sama banyak cewek tu nggak papa, malah keren, bagus, blablabla. Giliran cewek, dikatain lacur.

iya betul?! daripada keki sendiri makanya jgn pernah mau dibujuk, dirayu, dipaksa kaya apapun juga ma cowok bajingan karena sekali kita terjebak maka dia akan menertawakan keluguan kita….”dasar tolol” itulah yg akan dia berikan untuk kita.

itulah kelakuan brengsek cowok yg suka cari2 kesempatan. beware girls!

wah, kalo gw sih kaga respek sedikitpun ama cowo macem gitu. ngga bisa lah dianggep hebat or keren or whatever. pengecut kali iya.

bukan ngiri (gw cowo) hehehe…tapi, rasanya koq gw ngga bakal rela kalo sodara cewek, ato sepupu ato famili gw yg cewek dapetnya cowok yg udah bolak-balik ‘merusak’ eh main dan abis itu tanpa tanggung jawab ninggalin cewek-cewek lain. bener2 ngga ridho ! apa jaminannya bahwa dia ngga bakal melakukan hal yg sama/nyakitin adik/sepupu/etc gw itu kelak ??

entah sih, pendapat orang beda2. kali ada kawan disini yang rela ?

setuju pun gw ama loe, mau dibilang dia udah berubah atau ngejanjiin macem2lah, tetep aja kalo masa lalaunya suram begitu dan belum berani jujur begitu ke adik/sepupu/apalah-nya gw, mana rela gw.. sayangnya banyak yang bodoh dan keras kepala ngotot mau ama cowo macem begitu, haha, udah dikasih tau gak mau denger.. benci gw kalo ntr harus ngmg: “I have told you..” emang kalo udah jatuh cinta, tai kucing pun berasa coklat..

maap nyet agak OOT dikit, kemane aja sih, kok blom ada yang baru, hahaha..

Yes, I AGREE !!!
Virginity is very important for me.
For my lovely life next time with my husband. Hehehe … too far from now.

Perempuan yang dengan mudah kehilangan Virginitasnya ngga laen dan ngga bukan adalah seorang yang “gampang”.

Apa ngga sayang?

– Ngejaga pergaulan dari masih muda masa’ susah?
– Berbuat baik masa’ susah?
– Ngejaga yang penting untuk dirimu perempuan jangan dianggap susah

“When there is a will, there is a way”.

By The Way …
Nice topic !! I’d like to give my comments again and again.

Zahra: Maaf loh lama balesnya πŸ™‚ Bener tuh, dunia memang tidak adil terhadap perempuan. Kalau cowok banyak “main” cewek dibilang keren yah, gilirang cewek gonta-ganti cowok dibilang cewek nakal. Kacau. Hehe.

Yonna: Whahaha. Wah, curhat nih?

rizki: Andai saja semua lelaki memiliki pandangan seperti Anda πŸ™‚

Yuki: Udah ada beberapa yang baru kan? Hehe. Kapan nih nulis artikel buat blog JBRB lagi?

Izmi: Didukung! Thanks for all your comments πŸ™‚ Keep giving your insightful comments yah.

duluuu sih suka ketemu ma good player, FBI*, lempar cinta sembunyi tanggung jawab dsb makanya curhat akhirnya πŸ˜†

*Female Body Investigator alias cowok mupeng yang suka menatap dgn gairah dan pegang2 tangan grrrrr

sebenernya yang butuh keperawanan tuh cewek ato cowok sih?
gw sering mikir, kenapa kebanyakan cowok ngarepin istri yang masih pirgin waktu mereka udah nikah lagi, sementara selama mereka pacaran semua cewek mereka dijebol?
kan jadi menyebabkan kelangkaan perawan.
terus, kalo ternyata yang dijebol itu akhirnya kawin sama cowok lain, brarti dia nyerobot jatah nyicipin perawannya orang donk?
bener deh, tasa, rasanya gak adil. kenapa cewek harus nahan2 napsu ampe nikah cuman buat nyenengin pasangannya nanti, sementara cowok bisa bersenang2 sama cewek manapun tanpa ketauan apakah udah pernah ML ato belum.

betul betul betulll…
curang! kalo cowok ketauan darimana coba?
trus paling sebel kalo ada orang bilang
“sebandel-bandelnya cowok…pasti maunya nikah sama cewek baik-baik…”
Hiiiyyhhh…kenapa cowok seenak jidat aja si?

Zahra must be doing SAVE Sex campaign here.. Am i Rgt!!!-heee…..

Yonna: Haha, cowok kayak gitu sebenernya punya daya imajinasi yang tinggi.

Areta: Yah, sebenarnya pandangan kamu ada benarnya. Kalau dipikir2 emang gak adil yah buat kaum perempuan. Enak banget cowok gk ketauan. Terus gimana donk?

Zahra: Hahaha, curhat juga nih?

Zulfi: Not really bro πŸ™‚

iya ya dan punya rasa ingin tahu yang besar untuk mengeksplorasi…..tersebut :mrgreen:

nah lho gimana tuh hihihi :mrgreen:

mungkin suatu hari nanti akan ada alat virgin detector.

ah kesannya penjahat wanita bisa lolos gitu aja? ya gak gitu2 amat…toh banyak juga cewek yang tukang tipu…mentang2 cowok gak punya selaput dara trus bisa seenak jidatnya? cowok juga gak semuanya jahat….kalo gak percaya, inget aja lagu ini “tidak semua laki-lakiiiiiii bersalah kepadamu, contohlah aku mencintai dirimu tapi mengapa engkau masih raguuu” πŸ˜†

yah tapi saya akui, kadang sangat sulit membedakan mana good guy dan mana good player alias pura2 baik…kita sebagai cewek harus teliti, waspada dan jangan gampang percaya dengan yang kita liat atau denger, selidiki dulu dan liat buktinya dulu baru percaya. yah jelas aja gak gampang saat cinta merasuki sukma…tapi gak ada salahnya dicoba ya kan?!

gue jadi inget omongan temen gue hampir 3 taun yang lalu saat gue lagi patah hati, dia bilang gini “Yon, jumlah cewek emang lebih banyak dari cowok tapi cowok jomblo masih banyak kok” walau sederhana tapi mampu membangkitkan adrenalin, endorfin, optimisme sehingga gak lama setelah itu aku nikah. emang bener….true and sincere words are more glowing than jewelries…salam

iya nih…soalnya mereka bandel, maunya mainin cewek-cewek, ngejelek-jelekin cewek ‘nakal’, tapi abis itu maunya sama cewek baik-baik…dunia memang aneh dan tidak adil…kan sebagai cewek baik-baik ga rela dijadiin target para cowok bandel seenak jidat ini…heheh

mbak yonna:
iya…emang nggak cuma cowok aja yang tukang tipu…cewek juga banyak…cuma kalau cowok kayanya emang bakat lahir…hehehe…

kalau saya dibilanginnya “masih banyak ikan dilautan, dan ikan kakap nggak cuma satu…” mbak yonna sih enak ya, udah aman… :mrgreen:

perawan ga penting… bagi laki-laki … obyek sexsual adalah wanita…. bagi yang pacaran kalau tidak mau di jadikan obyek sama laki2 .. jangan pernah mau ciuman or first kiss lah /// jng di lakukan karna cowo akan mulai dari bibir dan selalu menuntut lebih… dan akhirnya di bibir bawah… heheheh

tpi bagi gw buat apa perawan tapi kelakuan nya biadab….. ok sex is the best

Bener ga sih katanya kalau dapat perawan orang bisa awet muda hahahahaaa…..


iya emang enak kalo udah punya satpam pasti aman :mrgreen:

hehe…kayanya bikin pesimis yach, tapi saya inget ma nasihat Mama yang bilang kalo Allah Maha Kaya pasti Dia akan antarkan seorang jodoh untuk kita asalkan kita yakin. Insya Allah jangan kuatir yah πŸ™‚

I feel the essence of sex has been denigrated to one of mere casualness completely devoid of meaning apart from the satisfaction at having our desires fulfilled. The current trend of meaningless one-night stands has a a far-reaching effect to even how we interact with one another, and how we view ourselves as individuals.

One’s worth now is not based on strengths derived from inherent talent utilizing the prowess of our minds and intelligence but on the curves and dimples of our bodies, and how fast/good/easy of a lay we may or may not make.
Women readily submit themselves to being doused with water in wet t-shirt contests, ham lasciviously in front of cameras, and engage in highly sexual activities for all to see for the sake of popularity, this type of basis of “worth” is far more considered an accomplishment than a praise of one’s intelligence or other skill that is not sexually based.

And these behaviors are not lost on the younger generation as they are constantly bombarded by it through the various forms of media by way of their own accessibility or their peers. What they’re seeing is a cheapening of the meaning of intimate relationships and interactions and of our own self-worth.

Kids as young as 12 feel the pressure now to “give in” and partake in intimate relationships they may not be ready for as that is one sure fire-way of acceptance, of fitting in, of being worthy to be looked at.

So to me, the maintenance of virginity is more than just a sexual matter but of our own ability to remain steadfast in our beliefs in the face of a powerful influence. If we choose to participate in that most intimate of relations, we should choose it because we want to and not because of societal pressures felt by us either directly or indirectly. And our self-worth is not reliant on how sexual or sexy we are.

Sex should not be thought of as taboo, something dirty, or something trivial. Reverence for it should be upheld to break us free from the trends that seek to further objectify us.

Virginity should be strived for not because of some moral grounding but because we understand the responsibilities and meaningfulness of such an intimate relation, especially if we’re at an age or point in our lives where we aren’t ready for the outcomes either physically or mentally.

If one is ready, and truly ready without any direct/indirect pressures, then by all means go forth. If one is not, then perhaps it is best to abstain for now.

one of many comments here said that “in any modern society, virginity issue should be a non-issue”.

i entirely agree with it.

virginity does not constitute moral values, mental preparedness, self-worth, or responsibility. it is, deceptively, another choice one make for oneself.

everytime i put that as an argument someone would come up to me and say that virginity is not a ‘simple’ choice.

well, actually, how would you establish the standard of ‘simple’ and ‘complicated’; ‘trivial’ and ‘significant’ choice?

the question: pro or against virginity? implies that virginity is a controversy; a partial sin. as long as such questions still stand, we are tacitly willing to regulate how people assess morality.

and that means we are willing to allow our morality assessed by others. but remember, presence of prejudice and modern society has never been, and will never be a complement to each other.

Perhaps virginity is not the word to use since it brings with it many biases, some known and some unknown.

To many, choosing this path is extremely personal as it constitutes somewhat of a deeper connection with another. Thus we have to be open about it with them, whatever their choice may be and however much we may disagree with it.
Sexuality has become one measure of self-worth whether we want to acknowledge it or not, those who choose to wait get belittled by their more experienced counterparts and vice versa–those who are experienced get put down as well.

In modern society, I would hope an open and comprehensive discourse can take place where we can gain an understanding of the consequences (positive and negative) of making this decision.

The question of mental preparedness and responsibility might be lost on us, but to not bring it up does a disservice to those who are still young, who are still figuring out the ways of the world. This does not mean we should pass on our moral judgements to them, but provide them guidance and information that can help them make the best decisions for them and strengthen their own foundations.

Sorry for my rambling lol With a 16 month old, I have often wondered how I would approach this issue when it does come up.

Yonna: β€œYon, jumlah cewek emang lebih banyak dari cowok tapi cowok jomblo masih banyak kok” Whahahaha, begitulah kalau cewek patah hati, selalu mencoba mencari pembenaran dalam hidup. Tapi lihat sisi terangnya yah. Mantap!

Zahra: Bener-bener, jangan mau jadi korban cowok brengsek. Jangan tergoda dengan rayuan dan tipu dayanya, cowok brengsek selalu keliatan baik awal-awalnya. Lama-kelamaan keliatan belangnya. Ha-ha-ha.

Jamet: Lo sendiri? he-he.

Komentator: Wah, teori baru denger tuh.

Nadia & Sylvia: You two have been giving me such wonderful views. It would be great if I could know about you all a little bit more. I know Nadia lives nearby πŸ™‚


Tasa: padahal yang ngomong gitu temen cowok loch?! bukan bisa2nya saya bikin kalimat ndiri hehe :mrgreen: tapi gak tau juga yach, mgkn dia cuma nyemangatin saya atau ngibur atau nembak diam2 tapi gak kesampean huehehee.

Ha-ha-ha, bisa aja nich. Dasar geer banget tuch, maunya ditembak diem2. πŸ™‚

Kok tau banget sih? Termasuk yah… :mrgreen: kidding…

Virginity is important Coz guyz love to have sex with virgin …

and not all about that the guy when he wanna married he wanna a virgin coz it hard to marry a virgin nowaday’s so he gonna be the only one who see her body and the only one who touched her…

if she’s not virgin he will think how many guyz touched her .. he will say maybe shes not telling the truth about how many guys touched her …

virginity is a gift from god why we are playing in our bodies to have fun in a moment and to not think about the future husband.. ..

even the girls would rather to have sex with virgin guys. so virgin is not only girls’ matter, it’s guys’ matter too πŸ˜€

virginity is (really) not an issue and non discussible. virginity is (as you’ve all describe above) are a personal thing.
i say let’s say discuss something else. lets discuss the definition of “Pornography”. what say you guebukanmonyet?
thanks anyway for adding me to this discussion group.

guebukanmonyet: how do you know? hmm?

by the way, interesting explanation by Nadia. bravo!

Zahra: Enggak donk, hehehe.

ary: It’s nice to have you on he discussion. Pornography? Mmmmh. Not good for underaged, that for sure.

Nadia: Well, internet can do lots of cool things, you know. Lol.

men and woman have a right to stay virgin until each got married…
some men are conservative and some women too.
the problem comes when a conservative man expecting a conservative woman, how ever in reality this woman is not a virgin anymore… (for whatever reason)
Anyhow it doesn’t mean that this man condemn or blame the society, it s just that he is expecting someone he loves comes from the same ideal that he believed.
But I can assure you that some conservative m

yah…klw gini ceritanya, akhirnya gw mau nyiapin diri aja bwt ikhlas menerima apapun adanya istri gw nantinya… yah walau kadang gw ngerasa tidak adil jika nanti gw dpt istri yg sdh ga virgin.. gw ngrasa percuma selama ini gw jaga prinsip yg gw pertahanin… tp paling ngga gw ga berbuat dosa krn zhina.

penting atau tidak, benar atau salah, itu kan tidak ada yang pasti, semua juga dibuat oleh manusia, mahkluk paling perfect yang dibilang oleh makhluk tidak perfect karena semua itu konsep mereka sendiri, yang penting ya pegang prinsip yang menurut kalian2 ini penting lalu jalani dan temukan pasangan kalian masing2, kalo memang gak cocok atau beda pendapat mengenai virginity ya… cari lagi donk,dunia kan luas, dan bumi belum tentu hanya satu. peace.

[…] maria magdalena, perawan, sex, virginity for sale ada artikel menarik di blog tetangga yang aku copy paste dengan semena mena. (*maap bang, ngga ijin dulu, tapi artikel sampeyan bagus […]

duh gimanetuh bagisaya ndak masalah tapi ya dilihat ilangnya itu gimana dengan cara yg bener atau salah, kalau salahnih harus tau resiko,in my religion kau harus dihukum hudud itu bertanggung jawab namanya,bukan dgn dinikahkan itu cara kalau ilangnya pas ndak sengaja misal nih lagi duduk pas ada kayu nancep tuh ha..ha..ceroboh amat ya… tapi ilangnya karena gitu ya tak masalahlah itu pendpt akuloh..

u suckk mother fuker(H)

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guebukanmonyet is Tasa Nugraza Barley. He's a free man with unique thoughts and dreams. He sees his life and this world differently from anyone else. That's because he knows what he wants; and for that reason he doesn't want to be the same. Read why he blogs, here.

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